Time can be seen as a friend when we have enough of it to do what we want.  It can also be seen as a foe that keeps us nailed to tasks that we must do.  Rather than looking at it from the point of view that we GET to, rather than HAVE to, we look at our daily tasks as though something outside ourselves is pulling the strings.  That is the ultimate  stress, to feel controlled by a force bigger than us, rather than seeing the force within us giving us all we need to do what we wish.

In looking at time, that clock, those minutes, the seconds, keep moving on and there doesn’t seem to be much wiggle room, or is there?  I often think of the phrase from Dr. Wayne Dyer, “Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change.”  What if we framed time in a new way for the sole purpose of relief from stress in daily living?

Choosing to use small increments of time on things to our best advantage is a key to living stress free.

Would you say that’s a myth?  In my experience, it’s not.  When I have an open-ended amount of time to spend on any given task, personal or business, there is a tendency to stretch the tasks to fill the time… There’s also a danger to procrastinate when a clear mark in the sand is not drawn in my mind’s eye.

In the absence of a large space of time to complete high priority tasks, I tend to be much more efficient. From the planning to implementing to documenting to seeing results, the sum of the parts come together in the skillful execution of tasks with a feeling of accomplishment along the way, even in a segment of time as short as 15 minutes.  That feeling of accomplishment for a small task leads to an empowered sense that time and I can work together, alleviating the stress of the time deadline.

What becomes problematic is focusing sufficiently to use those smaller increments of time to best advantage.  That is when you can alleviate the stress of a “liveline” that is coming up for you, that is part of your livelihood, part of your life, a line that measures where you are and how your results are showing up.  This guide, usually called a deadline, gives life by showing us how far off or how close we are to the center of the target.  Then we can adjust our aim to lead us to the results we seek.

The way we look at this time concept is a key to the way we can experience freedom from stress.  Consider how you look at your time slots, your values, your interests, your dread, your bliss.  In a day, we can feel these things as a foundation to what we do.  If something is out of whack, we feel awful.  We can shift to a view of looking at that feeling as an indication of something we can gratefully change, take charge of, and relieve the stress of staying unchanged and getting the same results over and over.

Our time matters, our view matters, what we do matters, and managing stressful situations usually uncovers what really matters in our life.  Pay attention to that, and you will find time is your friend, not your foe, no matter how much or little you have, since all we really have is RIGHT NOW.  Make the best of this fifteen minute segment, and you may be amazed at how stress free your time management can be.

What frame do you put around time?  Friend or Foe?  or something else?  I would like to hear what’s important to you about this topic.  It’s one that’s always a “timely” topic and we can delve more deeply into it.

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Going over a calendar and listing our priorities can be a great stress reliever in mapping out a plan.  It can also become an exercise in futility if we measure how far we are from completing the most important tasks. This view can lead to feeling the stress of daily living and never reaching our goal.  The idea that our lives must be scheduled to be important and that more filled in spaces and crossed out items on our to-do lists measure our competence at life may be a misguided one, or at least, one to question whether it’s working. 

For us to allow us the stress free living we are expecting as a result of listing out our priority things to do, our mindset ought to be on the bigger vision. Once in a while, I take a look at what my top priorities were a year ago or more.  I did that yesterday by looking back at lists I wrote of “Most Important Things” at the end of each month. I often wrote out a backwards planner in more detail.  The writing of it took more effort than the living of it… I have learned that seeing that the living of it is more easier done than written.

I experienced some physical pain yesterday that I attribute directly to handling stress poorly.  So, when I look at this objectively, I am seeing that my listing things creates stress rather than relieves it sometimes. It is becoming a task that clearly does not serve me in the way it could with a different perspective.  It’s a matter of perspective at the time of doing it.

Some of what I transferred to my current living list is ongoing, some projects phases are actually done. Many more projects are still in the idea phase awaiting time and circumstances, enthusiasm and resources, people and desire, to be realized.  When I see that list, to transfer the items that are still undone, I realize that living what we list is much more important than merely remembering it.

The disconnect I feel about the gap between projects I have accomplished and the projects I want to accomplish is stressful and the discomfort reflected in a physical symptom.  Now, that I am aware of that, though, stopping the poor choices and choosing better ones can occur as a result of this.

So, today I will live it, rather than list it.

Best for now,

Worry is one of those nagging thought processes that affect us waking and sleeping.  It’s a toss and turn night when worry about the day’s mistakes keep me up longer than I want to be awake.  Worrisome feelings interrupt my sleep with a dream that’s way too realistic or a nudge from my partner saying you’re making some weird noises…  Well, not tonight.

I’m going to allow water to wash all my worries away today!

Water is so soothing to me.  The marketing world tried to capture it years ago with “Have a Calgon moment” by retreating from the world to take a bath with Calgon oil bath beads to soften your skin.  Have you ever noticed that in the shower all things come into perspective better?  It happens for me often.  I get clarity of an idea or remember something that was eluding me.  It seems to me it’s the flow of the water.  I’m just not sure how it works, but it does.

Summer is just about here and it gave me pause to consider the following scene.  Whether it’s from my memory or a memory I would like to have had, it’s a fun picture to imagine.  On the side of a creek, you and your partner, or your child, or a good friend, sit and talk while skipping rocks across the water.  No worries can touch you there.  It’s time for summer pools to be open in our neighborhood.  Swimming, walking, or even sitting and lounging around water gives a lightness to the day, to the interactions people have with each other.

Swimming is considered one of the low impact, high benefit sports for people of all ages.  It’s fun to feel your weight lighten as you move in the water or as you walk in the deeper area.  I particularly like that feeling of buoyancy and like the low stress nature but high calorie burn of the exercise it provides as you spend time doing it.

The sound of rain, the sound of the ocean, the sound of a creek, all take my mind into a natural state of relaxation where I can be present to what I’m doing and focus on what’s right in front of me without considering what might go wrong in the future, which is what worry is. What might or might not happen, what could or could not be taken away, what others could or could not do to us, those real worries wash away when given the frame of water around them.  The following video with audio is a great example of just taking a moment to move into a watery view of things.  To listen to the sounds of water flowing relieves stress in me.  And, I’ll leave you with this video to wash all your own worries away.  Let me know how you like it by commenting below. Best for now, Mary

When I think of stress, a few big topics come to mind:

Money, Work, Family, Safety, and Death (or Loss)

Are these the top 5 stress starters?  Could worrying about these areas in our lives create stress?  You bet.  But, what if you could turn the thinking around to include the best scenarios of these top 5 areas?  STOP STRESS IN ITS TRACKS, from the inside out.

Money:  The thought of not enough money is more than a bit stressful.

Cash flow is a planned event for many, and for others, an elusive hope.   To look at money in a different way is the key to stop financial stress.

Focus on gratitude for the glass half full and it's bound to lead to a feeling of just a little relief from stress.  In that small shift, there is great power.

Work:  The uncertainty of whether there will be work or not keeps many a person under the thumb of stress.

The hard worker of the earlier part of last century lived a lot shorter as a result of physical and mental stress.  Now, in less physical jobs, we experience more mental stress, which can also take a physical toll as we hear in the health research news frequently.

Even if you have work coming in or you have a job to barely pay the bills, it may be that the work you do no longer suits your skills, needs, and lifestyle.  You can experience a cloud of stress as  you choose the minimal pall of security over taking the risk of discovering a way to live stressfree and happy in your work environment.

Again, it's the way you look at it.  If you are seeing this position you are in now as a temporary stepping stone, and looking at the best rather than the worst of it, stress cannot find a foothold...

Family:  Living with others as a family holds a high priority in our society.

In the good times and bad, in the better or worse, a married couple promises to be there for the other.  Connectedness in all relationships brings with it the stress of keeping a loving atmosphere, not one of argument, fear of loss, distrust.  All that stress takes its toll.

That bond of marriage, family, children, living together can be solidified or broken apart by stress.  Consider the way you look at it and focus the picture lens on what feels like relief for you in your particular situation.  A good family is a blended one today, a good parent is flexible and strong and allows a spouse and a child to become who they truly are.

Safety:  Fight or Flight uses stress in a good way to make the right decision in a pinch.

We utilize our strongest instincts for survival to get out of the "DANGER" situation.  Danger is not as specific or clear in our present day environment.

If we (in a once in a lifetime occurrence) see a grizzly bear on a hike in the woods, we stay way clear!  Other not so dramatic things occur more regularly though, that lead to stress.

• • That person we work with is acting like they want our job.
  • The stranger on the street might do something dangerous that affects our well-being.
  • The trucker driving next to us on the highway may fall asleep at the wheel & cause a crash.

There is more uncertainty and in that fact, stress abounds.

Eliminating the outside circumstances is impossible.  Changing the way you view the circumstances in your mind's eye is possible!  That is where our power to stop stress begins.

Death:  Loved ones dying can be a blow to anyone, especially when more than one occurs in a year.  2008 was one of those years.

My Mom-in-Law Peg went through a very short illness and died within a few months of her diagnosis.  What was most curious to me was the fact that her son, my brother-in-law had died very suddenly a few months before.

It seemed very strange to me at the time, but since then,  I've read about studies that shows a loved one passing soon after a spouse or child is common. Dealing with that stress affects health of those who handle death by focusing on the pain of it more than celebrating the best memories.

We have the power to make life and death choices each and every day just by reaching for relief in the thoughts we think.  How can you and I consider the best of it rather than the worst of it, and no longer give stress a stronghold?

Feel free to share your thoughts below.  I'd like to hear from you.

Best,

When it comes to changing your mood, there’s just something about Music that soothes me, helps me forget why I am upset, if only for a moment.  That moment is all that’s needed for relief to have a crack at it in moving from desperation to hope, not all in one leap, but fewer steps than usual.

The sound of silence between the notes is what Dr. Wayne Dyer speaks about in listening to music.  The soul wants to be soothed, awakened, moved to joy, and music is a shortcut to that, I believe.  Something about sound connects with me and even though I am aware of my surroundings, when listening to nature sounds on an NLP recording and classic rock, or moving vocals on my headphones, or a teaching voice, my mind and body connect with the message in a way I cannot measure, except to know I feel better!

This week, I had two experiences with music (and visual dance) that raised my mood and vibration considerably.  I wanted Wednesday to be a happy day, since it was a milestone in my life:  turning 55 years old, I was born on 5/5/55 at 5PM, my mom says, and she would know….  How cool is that?  So, awakening to the question, what can really get me going this morning, I answered with “The Flash Mob Dance with Black Eyed Peas and Oprah!”  I actually took the 5 minutes to watch it, and endured the diatribe from my 15 year old saying you’re so weird, Mom.  Totally worth it.  That day was the best knocking stress right out of the ballpark!

The second musical stress relief aha was this morning as I was listening to a famous musician since a lovely song I’d not heard before, but recognized the style.  It was so interesting to me that I remembered some not so nice news stories about him that were rather violent, and this beautiful song that he created from inspiration was soothing my soul    There is no judgment in inspiration.  who knows where you can find a stress reliever, whether it be a song, or a breath, or a run in the park.  Be open to allow stressfree moments envelop your day today.

Best for now,

When spring is really here, the first rose blooms. Then light stays out longer.  Darkness delays coming with dusk notifying the birds to go home and the bats to come out.  Dusk is a time I like to sit out on my porch in the silence of the change from light to dark.  It is in the transition that I find peace sometimes.

The stresses of the day slip away.  I forget what I was concerned about as the sky creeps from a silvery blue spattered with grayish clouds to a deep midnight blue with flecks of light that dim with the movement of the clouds slithering past.  It is a practice of 15 minutes to let the dusk roll into night, and the stress rolls off me like the moon orbiting our world.

Happy New Year!  Rather than having a forward scheduling post on this blog, I came across this post to publish, backwards.  So, now, I am going to Start Again in 2010!

The persistance path to follow a dream you have is not always a short one, I have found.  It is good to have a plan.  It is good to have structure.  It is good to have patience.

This path to be stressfree is my real dream, my goal, my daily starting again.  Whether it is starting again in 2010, or finding a reason to renew my commitment to this blog, the final purpose is joy in a stressfree lifestyle NOW.  And, no matter how short or long the timeline is to get there, persistence in being who you want to be now, and doing what you know will allow you to be who you want to be now, will always lead to that most excellent adventure, growing in confidence toward your goals without stress and standing up within to give value to the world outside.

My New Year has begun, AGAIN...  Share your year's movement below by commenting, whether it is a slow trickle down a calm stream or a fast moving white water raft ride down the river.  I look forward to hear the story of your 'persistence path'.

Best,

Talk about self-induced stress.  Some stress comes from outside circumstance, but ALL stress is an inside job, I've come to believe.  I have been experiencing something for the past month or so. I'll try to describe it.

When faced with creative outlet, sometimes there are blocks to publishing content that is begging to come out. The stress part for me comes with committing to the form of implementing the creative outlet. For example, I have started many blogs, many projects, and have a myriad of interests online and offline. To focus on one seems to me to be counter-intuitive. In the meantime, I am feeling the stress of going off in many different directions and not accomplishing what I want to, NOT CREATING ANY content at all. I'm seeing the pattern as creating stress in my life.

So, as an answer to stress, I am writing about what I grapple with inside and some ideas that are a solution for me.

What I want to do with this blog is to consistently create content that can help you discover what you can do to relieve your stress.

My challenges may or may not be yours but in the sharing of it, I hope solutions come.

Best for now, Mary

This evening I listened to a wonderful mentor, Marcia Breitenbach, who was letting us in on an age old secret:  music rearranges our brain waves, and allows us to relax and release the stress and excess baggage we carry around.

I am so much more calm when I have my headphones on, listening to the "fusion" Brain Evolution System sounds in the background.  It relaxes my mind, allows me to flow into a more focused mindset.  When the nature sounds and binaural beats fade away, I am more able to concentrate on being productive.

Sometimes we need a little help to really enjoy relaxation.  What are some solutions that you have found, traditional or alternative, that have helped you find the serenity to enjoy life around you, even when busy and full of challenges?

I'd love to hear from you.  Just take a minute to type up a comment below...

Talk Soon.

To do this allows less stress to fry your brain.  I have a habit now of writing every day to empty some of the stressful thoughts that I want to express positively.  It is a good habit and one that I will build on.  For now, I write short journal entries and it is a start.

Honoring the muse means to me writing about those things that just come up in my mind when I pick up the pen.  There also are times when something won't leave my mind until I write it out.  That is what I call honoring the Muse.  Creativity and Intuition are within us for a reason.  Handling the stress in our lives is one of those reasons, I am finding out.

Enjoy your day.  Honor your muse today.

Best for now,